look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
