Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
