He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they call him Oral-B. enough said
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
