If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
