if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
