Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
