sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
