There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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