Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
