can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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