East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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