if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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