We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
