No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
