They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
