I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
time to smoke my breakfast
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Pants are for mortals
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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