Me too!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
