after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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