I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
