She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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