How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize