He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
how does that bad decision feel?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
