Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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