my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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