My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
