Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
