i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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