I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
