Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
