if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You ruined the universe
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
