My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize