I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
two words: eviction party
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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