She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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