Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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