WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize