I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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