Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
