we're blogging at a bar
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
