so explain again why im purple
no
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
