he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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