I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
