Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
