I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
