I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
