I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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