That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
