I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
