ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
wow bdsm is so cute
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize