he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
