like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
