Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
