i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
