I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
