that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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