Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
