The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
