So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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