Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
