I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
