sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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