If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
