id be glad to
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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