Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
