I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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