Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize