mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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