Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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