winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
