do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Someone came in the potted fern
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
