God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
