On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
