she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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