Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
