do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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