I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
