at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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