They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
