in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
